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Subject: Sprint’s commercial featuring a “Renegade Cop” turning over all his weapons because he’s been assigned desk duty (specifically the 16 second mark)

Analysis: I admit that I found this commercial amusing the first time I saw it, even before he took out the rocket launcher. However (and this will hurt the final score), the commercial would have been 38% better (not scientifically proven) if the “Renegade Cop” in question had just taken out rocket launcher after rocket launcher, stacking them all up on the desk, instead of bothering with all those small, infantile weapons. As we all know, when you have a rocket launcher, there really is no need for any other weapon. Besides, who’s going to mess with a police officer who carries around a rocket launcher (or twenty)?
Answer: I pity the fool.

(Note that the official ‘Rocket Launcher Rating’ is for how well the subject utilizes rocket launchers. It’s not a rating of the subject itself)

Rocket Launcher Rating:

Christmas time!

I was walking around a store that I won’t name when I noticed Christmas decorations for sale. I’m still deciding on what to dress up as for Halloween, but this store has decided to skip the rest of October and November and most of December and just declare that it’s Christmas time. Not that I have a problem with that, but it would have been nice if they had asked me if I cared to completely skip Thanksgiving dinner.


That said, this is what I want to get my mom for Christmas. In a way, it’s also for me. When I come home with a body part hanging off, she can turn to this guide as an invaluable tool for fixing me.

According to the book, when I have ‘Loof Aloof Morgoof,’ Mom will know that the only cure is a bit of ‘Hug-a-bugbug.’

When I’m afflicted with ‘Reef Grief,’ Mom can mix up some ‘Mudfunkles Soup.’

And when I try to stay home from school with a bad case of ‘Ne’er Wells Areya’, she’ll know that only some ‘Parsnip Nipspar’ will save the day.

I hope she appreciates how much work I put into keeping our family safe.

- Vincent

The yet-to-be-released Book 3 of “Kid with a Rocket Launcher” will be featured at this year’s Frankfurt Book Fair, happening in Frankfurt Germany from October 6th – 10th.
Germany is kind of where this all began, if you factor in my family ancestry :D

Guten Tag!

$1 Digital Books

To help get the word out about my one-man operation known as Kid with a Rocket Launcher, I’ve recently lowered the price of the Amazon Kindle digital versions of KWARL Book 1, Volumes 1 & 2 and KWARL Book 2, Volumes 1, 2, & 3 to $1 each. In essence, that’s 5 books for $5.

I hope the temporary price discount will encourage more people to take a chance on my little labors of love. The Amazon Kindle e-reader app is a free download on the App Store for ipod/ipod touch/ipad.

Be advised that the price change might not be reflected on the Kindle Store right away. There’s some sort of verification process that the digital files were going through first. So keep checking back if the price of the books isn’t yet showing up as $1.

Tax Day

So I just discovered that Mom is making money off me. She tells the government that she “depends” on me, and gets money for me existing.

This makes me curious as to why I’ve never seen any of this income come in my way.

I plan on camping out next to the mail box every day until an envelope from the government shows up. I will then open the envelope and, using our beloved family calculator, work out how much I deserve to get of these monies the government is paying Mom for having me.

I also plan to study the tax system so I can figure out why she gets paid for “depending” on me when, in reality, I “depend” on her WAY more than she “depends” on me.

Happy Tax Day, everybody!

- Vincent

Addendum:

Due to various circumstances beyond our control (such as the end of April 1st), the newly-announced project “Toddler with a Hand Grenade” will not be happening.

Apologies for anyone who got their hopes up.

- The Management

COMING SOON!!!

The shortest short story ever!

Artist link: Samurai Princess

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